GANNONDORF'S STUPID ADVENTURES
by KityPryde
Summary: As it turns out, crime doesn't pay. Gannondorf must get a job at the Hylian mall where he is harassed by our favorite characters from Ocarina of Time. Guest star Harry Potter and the Governator! CHAPTER 6 AND A QUICK SUMMARY IS NOW UP ON THE CEILING.
1. Mmm Yogurt

GANONDORF'S STUPID ADVENTURES

* * *

As it turns out, crime doesn't pay. Gannondorf's budget is running low so he must get a job at the new Hylian mall where he is harassed by our favorite characters from Ocarina of Time.

* * *

Gannondorf was relaxing in his castle, trying to think of ways to defeat Link. He was sitting in his favorite teal recliner and enjoying his strawberry yogurt when one of his servants rushed through the door, "Sir! SIR!" He stopped right in front of Ganon and bent over in order to catch his breath, "Gasp...gasp...gasp..." 

"This had better be important..."

The servant nodded, "It is sir. Your castle..."

"What about MY castle?"

The servant cringed, "Sir, may I remind you of the old saying, 'don't shoot the messenger'?"

Ganon threw down his yogert cup in frustration, "I'VE never heard THAT before!"

The servant gulped, "Well... some men... in suits... they work for the King..."

"Yes? Spit it out already!!"

The servant took a deep breth and blurted it all out at once, "They've come to reposess your castle!"

"WHAT!?"

"They said you haven't been making the nessessary payments..."

Ganondorf growled, "Where is the servant in charge of my finances??"

"I-I-I'll go fetch him right away!"

"Fine. You do that. And tell him to bring me another strawberry yogurt cup."

The servant soluted, "Yes SIR!" Glad to be out of the Gerudo's pressence, the servant went to go fetch another scapegoat...


	2. No money?

The financial advisor entered the room with a briefcase and a yogurt cup. He was an old man and had a surprisingly bored and slack look on his face for being one of Ganon's servants. He handed the yogurt cup to Ganon with not much effort. "Here you are sir."

Ganon snatched it from him, "Blueberry?! I specifically asked for STRAWberry!!"

The servant yawned, "My apologies sir, it was all we had left. The pantry is near vacant."

"Vacant?! Oh, no matter, I'll just have more food delivered. Now what is this business about my castle being reposessed?"

"You see sir, that is the problem. You have been spending and spending but you have got no money coming in."

Ganon became defensive as he swallowed a blueberry, "I'll have plenty of money coming in as soon as I take over Hyrule."

The servant sighed deeply, "Of course sir, when you take over Hyrule. But for now you really need find a temporary source of income. A job perhaps?"

Ganon roared, "A JOB?! The only thing I'm good at is ruling castles and telling people what to do!"

The servant muttered under his breth, "We know."

Ganon brooded about the room for a few minutes while finishing up his yogurt, "Say, this is really good. But now I'm thisty. If only someone made yogurt in liquid form. A drinkable yogurt of some sort? ... I could do that! That's how I'll make money. It'll be a hit! Ganon's drinkable yogurt. Say, that's catchy. I could even put cartoon animals on the label to attract a younger audience. I could call them... Ganimals! I am a genius!!"

"I am sorry sir, but that has already been done..."

Ganon sagged back into his chair, "Fine. I suppose I'll just get a job like a commoner. That's what YOU wanted all along didn't you?!"

The servant just shugged and excited the room.


	3. pink bunny

Ganon stared into a large miror and sighed very deeply. His financial advisor had suggested he wear something more friendly and less 'intimidating' to his job interview, and since he couldn't spend anymore money, he was wearing a suit his mom had bought for him. When he was sixteen. It was cream-colored and soft. With a pink bunny on the collar. Ganon shuddered as he thought about it. Earlier he had tried to rip it off, but it started to tear the material, so he just left it.

"Sigh... I can't believe this is the only thing I have to wear. Oh well, at least they'll give me a new uniform when I get the job. Ok, I'm READY NOW!!"

The financial advisor yawned, "Congradulations sir. I am really very happy for you. Believe me. Really happy."

Ganon glared, "Well?"

The old man shrugged, "Yes?"

"Are'nt you going to get the horse and buggy ready???"

The old man sighed, "With all due respect sir, that is most definately not my job..."

"Oh! Well if that's not YOUR job, then what exactly DO I pay you for?"

He stuck out his chin, "Well, sir, I am in charge of managing all of your money and checks and taxes and..." The old man paused, "Hm. Come to think of it, you have'nt paid me in months! What's all that about?"

Ganon laughed, "Heh heh. Must have gotton lost in the mail."

"...Of course, sir."

"So, are you going to set up the buggy or not?" The old man was silent...

"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?"

"Er! Why don't you just walk?"

Ganon whinned, "It's so far."

"It's not even a mile!"

"It's soo hot."

"It's January!"

"I meant cold, so very cold."

"Arg! Wear a sweater!"

"I hate sweaters! They make me look dorky!"

"Admit it sir, you just don't want to get a job, do you? What are you so aprehensive about?"

"I'm NOT AFRAID!"

"Then go to work."

"FINE! I will walk!! That's what YOU wanted all along, isn't it? ISN'T IT??!!"

The old man smiled secretely this time.


	4. easter bunny

Gannondorf stalked down the walkway leading to the new Hylian mall. The old hylian mall was nothing more than a few shacks strung together and had only one upstairs room, which was very unstable. But the new mall was built with state of the art architecture.

With grand warm-colored columns and arcs, it not only supported many more shops and shoppers, it was an inviting gathering place for many smiling, carefree young people.

Ganon scowled and muttered, "When I'm king, this place will be put to much better use... and painted a different color."

A voice called incredulously, "No way!"

Ganon cringed inwardly. He knew that voice. He turned around slowly to see his nightmare come true. It was Link.

"Of course."

"Ganon? Gannondorf?! Is that you?"

"No stupid, it's me the Easter Bunny."

Link glanced at the pink bunny on his shoulder and snickered uncontrollably.

"Shut up."

After laughing a bit more, Link remembered who he was talking to and grew serious. He placed his hand on the hilt of his sword cautiously, "What are you doing at a place like this. Up to nothing good I can assume."

"None of your business, urchin."

"I protect people so it is my business."

"I potek pepol sos itz my business," Ganon mimicked, doing an awfully stupid off-key impression of Link.

"I sound nothing like that!"

"How do you know, have you ever heard yourself?"

"Yeah... just now!"

"Maybe your tone deaf."

"No I'm not!... my friend Saria would have told me..."

"Maybe she didn't have the heart to. Or maybe she thought it was funny. Not much of a friend if you ask me..."

"Take that back!"

He considered, "Well, I guess that was a little harsh... maybe I should...naw, I don't think I will."

"I'll make you regret it!"

"Oooh, I'm shaking in my boots. You're not gonna tell your teacher on me are you?"

"This conversation is stupid so just tell me why your here so I can have an excuse to kick your butt!"

Ganon pushed him out of his way effortlessly, "Call down, Tiny Tim, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm allowed to go to the mall just the same as any. body. else."

Ganon sauntered off confidently.

Link scratched his head and pondered. Then he saw Ganon unknowingly drop a couple of sheets of paper. The boy ran to pick then up after the Gerudo was long gone. They were job applications!

"So. Ganon's getting a job." He ginned mischievously, "Excellent."

* * *

(Mua ha ha! Ganon's gonna pay!) 


	5. sloppy Joe

The Gerudo went on exploring the large hallways of the mall, passing many stores left and right, when one in particular caught his eye. It was a formal-wear shop lined with expensive suits. Curiosity getting the better of him, he decided to go in and take a quick look.

The store wasn't very large or busy so it was nice and quiet. There were only a few people here and there, probably shopping for special occasions. Ganon was about to leave when a display in the back caught his eye. He walked closer and saw that it was a course dark brown jacket lined with teal silk.

"Now that's what I call a suit!" He looked at his cream-colored-clothing abomination and sighed.

The manager heard him and came abruptly from the back room, "Hello sir, may I he-" the guy gasped when he actually saw him, "Y-you, your-"

Ganon grumbled, "Yeah, what is it?"

"Well, you're the tallest person I've ever seen."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so..."

"Taller than the king, even!"

Ganon thought about this and suddenly managed to look taller, "I suppose you could say that."

"Say, would you like a job here?"

"Huh?"

"A job selling suits. You're exactly the professional looking type we need."

"Really? I mean of course I am! So there is an open position?"

"Yes of course, after firing that lazy good-for-nothing, I think his name was Bingo."

"Ingo?"

"Yeah, that was it! Ingo! Get out here, we found someone to replace you."

Ingo half dragged himself sluggishly out of the back room, holding a sloppy-Joe in one hand and a Yoo-hoo in the other.

"Ingo! How many times have I told you, 'no eating outside the break room'!? And clean your face up, for Pete's sake."

"Who cares, I'm getting fired taday."

The manager sighed and then looked to Ganon hopefully, "So how about it Mr..."

"Ganonndorf." He said, shaking the manager's hand.

The manager scratched his head, "Hm. Sounds so familiar. Oh well, I am Rauru, but you can call me Mr. T."

Ganon looked bewildered, "Mr. T?"

He furrowed his brow, "That's what I said, isn't it? Don't tell me you're as slow as Ingo?"

"Oh, ah no sir."

"..."

"I mean Mr.T."

"So, do you have adequate experience as a salesperson?"

Ganon scoffed, "Of course. I can sell anything!" He pointed to a browsing customer and, "Hey kid! Yeah, you! Buy a suit right now before I make you eat one!"

The kid dropped what he was holding and ran out of the store, out of the mall, in fact.

"No, no, Ganondorf, you can not talk to customers like that. You have to be polite and engaging. Ask them if there is something in particular they are looking for and if you can help and-"

"Excuse me, sir." A boy walked into the store and approached Ingo at the front desk, "Do you have anything in green?"

Ganon looked over and gasped, "Link!" Then he went to go hide behind a cloths rack. But Mr T said, "Oh great, there's a customer. Go practice being polite." And he pushed him to the desk.


	6. QUICK SUMM FOR YOU!

Okay guys, I 'm gonna write a quick summary so I can hurry and put up the next chapter cause I don't really feel like writting the other stuff right now. Eeep, plot holes, I know. Maybe some day I'll go back and fill it in with real stuff but I'm not sure cause I have alot of other planning and writting to do for my school newspaper, yay! But go ahead and tell me what you think of the next chapter. Enjoy...

* * *

Okay, so Ganon goes to help Link but loses his temper and quits. He goes looking for another job and finds one at a place called The Chicken Burrito, where he tries to be nice to the customers, but messes up too many times, so they make he gets stuck advertising in a chicken suit. Mido, Saria, other Kokiri, Link, Malon, Zelda, Dark Link and Ruto come and harrass him. Ganon asks why they are so mean to him and they say it is because they know he's trying to take over Hyrule. He says it's not his fault and explains that it was because of his childhood... 


	7. santa say wha?

"I thought all the Gerudos liked you."

"Ha! That's just what they want you to believe. Ganny the lonely Gerudo, that's what they used to call me! Ganny the lonely Gerudo, cause I had no friends! Oh, they were so cruel, and I thought girls were supposed to be nice. But they never let me join in any Gerudo games!"

Nabooru was walking by with a Ye Old Sears shopping bag and overheard the conversation, "Oh, Gannon, not this again..."

He pointed an accusing finger, "You be quiet! I remember you were one of them. You used to laugh and call me names!!"

He was nearing the end of the tissue box now, "I was just a lad, and boys have feelings too, you know!" He blew his nose again and looked up, "But then one dusty Christmas Eve, dear Santa came to say,"

A few Kokiri's ears perked up at the mention of old St. Nick.  
Nabooru shook her head, "I know where this is going..."

Ganon continued, "He said to me, 'Ganon, with your face so bright, won't you take over Hyrule tonight?'"

Saria gasped, "_Santa Claus_ told you to take over Hyrule??"

Link stared in disbelief, "Your face was bright??"

Mido had a mouth-full of burrito, "I don't believe this."

Zelda crossed her arms, "Of course not. He's totally lying."

"No. Not that. This burrito is still cold," he waved it in Ganon's face, "I want my money back, mister!"

Ganon ignored him.

"Hey mister! Can't you hear me? My burrito is cold! Hello? Hello! Mister?" Mido stood on his chair and waved a hand in his face. "Hey, Ganny the lonely Gerudo? Are you there?"

Ganon heard that. His face reddened, "Why you little-" He lunged forward and a chase began. Mido dropped his lunch tray on the table and ran in circles, "Ahhhh! Save me Saria!"

A few of the Kokiris giggled,(excluding Link who wasn't giggling, but instead laughing so hard he could barely breath), but Saria frowned, "Oh, poor Mido, someone should-" then she saw what was left on the table, "Ooooo, is that ice-cream?"

Zelda was about to try and help, but her attention was quickly averted, "Dibs on strawberry!"

Luckily for Mido, Ganon's chicken suit was slowing him down. The boss came out, just in time to see the whole fiasco.

"Ganondorf! You put that poor customer down right now!"

"Gah! Mr. Boss-guy!"

"That's the last straw Ganon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you..."

"NO! You can't fire me," He glared at Link, "YOU! This is all you fault!! I'll make you sorry!!" Ganondorf fired up a purple thing and was about to fire it at Link when... five big mall cop knights jumped on top of him in a dog pile.

The head security guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, came running, "Zer is absolutely NO magic in zis mall, you hear me!!? I said DO you HEAR me?!"

"Yes, yes I hear you," Ganon mumbled, "What a stupid rule."

"It iz not a stupid rule! It iz a stupid LAW! And without stupid laws there would be chaos! And as much as I love chaos, we had to put it into effect after a certain boy thought he could come here and do whatever he pleased!"

Harry Potter came whizzing by on his broom, "Pip, pip cheerio everyone! What did I miss?!"

Arnold pulls out a bazooka and starts firing, "You are not welcome in zese parts Potter!"

"Don't I at least get a warning!"

"The fact that I have not hit you iz der warning! Ha HA HA HA HA!" Harry flies outside to safety and Arnold immediately stops laughing and addresses Ganondorf, "Don't thank me. Itz my job az Governator! My work here iz done, I must fight aliens now." He then runs out of the mall, carrying the bazooka on his shoulder.

Everyone blinks simultaneously.

"..."

"What?"

"Who?

"I don't know, Zelda, I just don't know."

"That was cool!"

"Did you see that?"

"..."

"What's an alien?"

"Hello? Being crushed here! Will someone get me out of here already?!!"  
A/N: ( That last one was Ganon ;)


End file.
